Control
by ggaboundhere
Summary: Eric faces temptation.


  
  
Note: This story is part of the Lyric Wheel from the 7H boards at TwoP. The lyrics included in the story are printed at the end.  
  
Control  
  
*****  
Glenoak Community Church. My church. How Eric loved those words: my church. A place he was in charge of, totally in control of. True, there were the church deacons, like Lou, and the church was partly in the parishioners' control, but the fact remained that when it was all said and done, Eric was the one in charge, the one who made all the decisions. The one in control. It was quite different from at home. It was his refuge. It was also his pride and joy, being quite an important institution in the town of Glenoak.  
  
He most liked going to the church when he was alone, however, on the weekdays. Sure, he didn't mind going on Sunday, when his many loyal parishioners looked up at him in adoration, and his ego swelled knowing that it was he that they went to for refuge. But the parishioners could be nosy and judgmental, and worse, his family attended church on Sunday. That was why he liked working at the church alone so much, why he liked the control that his ministry of the church gave him, because it got him away from his family, in particular, his wife Annie. Though he never admitted it, it angered him that it was always Annie who was in control of their household, who disregarded his opinion, his thoughts, his feelings. Annie had changed ever since she'd entered menopause, which she preferred to call the change of life. True, she'd always been controlling and manipulative, but it was usually in small doses before the change. Now, however, Eric could hardly stand his wife's behavior, her cruelty and insensitivity towards him, the sneaky way she manipulated the rest of the family. Eric thought that perhaps it was something more than menopause, which Annie blamed for her behavior, that was causing all this, but he would never have dared suggest this to Annie, knowing she would bite his head off. And divorce, of course, was out of the question, being only the last resort for sinful people, who were unlike Eric.  
  
So Eric sought refuge from his shrewish wife and (though it pained him to admit it, for he loved them very much) his frequently annoying children by going to work in his church office. Unlike at home, it was a place where he felt completely in control, completely unafraid. And he didn't mind his counseling sessions, because in these too he was in control, his patients respecting him.  
  
Lately, though, Eric liked going to work in his church office for a completely different reason. Her name was Jessica, and she was one of his counseling patients. She was a pretty young woman who'd been through a tough divorce, and she went to Eric for help to get through it. Eric pitied her, that she'd had to go through something as horrible as divorce, and worse, had become a single mother (her son was three) who, without a husband, was hardly able to support herself. Yes, Eric felt sorry for her, and made it his duty to comfort her, watch over her, because God knows what could happen to her, being a single mother and all. Eric was also drawn to her because she was indeed a very attractive young woman, petite with blonde hair, and had a flirtatious nature (something Annie, in her jealous rages, accused all of Eric's female clientele of having). Eric didn't blame Jessica for her flirtatiousness, it was her nature after all, and it certainly wasn't the first time it had happened (though not as often as Annie thought), for all of the single Glenoak women were attracted to Eric, him being an attractive, responsible minister. In fact, Jessica's flirting flattered Eric, though he would never act on his feelings of attraction towards her.   
  
Or so he thought. About a month ago, Jessica had thrown back her head, her blonde hair bouncing, and laughed her delicate, tinkly laugh. Eric had been overwhelmed with desire. Jessica saw the way he was looking at her, smiled, and kissed him.  
  
And so their affair began. Or, not an affair exactly, for Eric didn't have sexual relations with Jessica, that was an act reserved for the sanctity of marriage. But still, they kissed and did other things, and these things took up most of their counseling time. Jessica adored Eric (rightfully so) and he could tell she considered herself a lucky girl to be having a relationship with him. And, best of all, in this relationship, Eric was in control.  
  
Not that it was going anywhere. No, Eric felt none of the affection for Jessica that she felt for him. The affair was just a diversion for him, a relief from the pressures of home (and a nice change from Annie, he had to admit). But he was a minister, had an important position in his community, and he would never give all that up by leaving Annie for Jessica. In fact, though he liked Jessica and was certainly attracted to her, the feelings he felt for her were mostly pity and protectiveness, not love and affection. However, Eric still told Jessica he loved her, because seeing the happiness those words brought her pleased him. But she was stupid, it was a lie. Whenever he told himself that, though, a small voice in his head whispered, but it's a little bit true...  
  
Eric's main concern was not getting caught. This affair, if one could call it that, was a secret that must be kept between himself and Jessica. It would ruin his church and family, indeed his whole life, if anyone found out. And he did not want to think about Annie's reaction, who was already so suspicious of the single women he counseled. In fact, Eric feared Annie might already have an inkling of his affair with Jessica, but he assured himself it was just paranoia. And so it continued, in Eric's church, his sanctuary from his home and family.  
  
*****  
It was another Tuesday, and Eric was glad, because this was the day of his weekly counseling session with Jessica. Whistling merrily, he strode down the stairs into the kitchen, pulling on his tie. Annie was in the kitchen with their twin four-year-olds, Sam and David.  
  
"Hi Daddy!" they said in unison. Annie beamed at them.  
  
"Hey kids," Eric said happily.  
  
Annie frowned at him. "What are you so happy about?"  
  
Eric, as usual, was a bit taken aback. "Can't I be happy that God created such a beautiful day?" he said, somewhat unconvincingly.  
  
Annie looked at him suspiciously but said,"So you're heading for the church?"  
  
Eric nodded. "Yes, I have a counseling session."  
  
Annie scowled. "Is it with that young divorced woman again? Jennifer?"  
  
"Jessica," Eric corrected.  
  
"Whatever. I don't like you spending so much time with her. Can't she find someone else to counsel her?"  
  
Eric smiled wanly at her. "Annie, Annie. I'm just helping her. She's going through a rough time, after the divorce and all. Trust me."Still scowling, Annie sighed. "Fine. Goodbye."  
  
"Bye," Eric called, walking through the door, his heart thumping.  
  
*****  
Eric and Jessica were in his office, sitting on the desk, kissing. It was indeed a beautiful day, and the sunlight streamed through the stained-glass window, filling the room with color, turning Jessica's cheeks a throbbing scarlet color. Eric was lost in the kiss, completely unaware of anything else...  
  
He did not hear the steady footsteps coming down the hall, or the quiet creaking of the door opening. Eric did, however, hear his son-in-law Kevin's indignant words, "Mr. Camden...?"  
  
Eric looked up, his face ashen, and Jessica turned around, and seeing Kevin, smiled. Kevin was frowning in that way Eric hated, his eyes slits, his eyebrows pulled together. "Um, hello, Kevin..." he breathed.   
  
Kevin said in that patronizing voice that made Eric angry, "Mr. Camden, this is not the sort of behavior I would expect from you. What about Mom? Your children? Your church?"  
  
Eric loathed Kevin. He pretended to like him, but only for the sake of his daughter Lucy and the rest of the family. In truth, he hated the way Kevin thought he was entitled to boss people around just because he was a police officer, the way he was so controlling, the way he called Annie "Mom". Eric hated, too, how much Annie loved and adored Kevin, just because he was a handsome police officer who'd married her daughter.   
  
"You should be ashamed of yourself, Mr. Camden," Kevin continued, still frowning.   
  
Why must Kevin, of all people, discover Eric's affair? Domineering, judgmental, self-righteous Kevin? Eric knew Kevin would run home and tell Lucy about it, and worse (Eric winced), Annie. Gritting his teeth, Eric said lamely, "You don't understand, Kevin."  
  
"Oh, I think I do, Mr. Camden." Kevin turned towards the door. "I think I'll be going home now. I came here to check up on you for Mom."  
  
After a minute of fuming, Eric ran towards the parking lot after Kevin.  
  
*****  
On the way home, Eric chided himself. How could he be so stupid as to have an affair? He didn't even like the woman that much, he told himself. How could he have not realized the affair would be found out, that it was impossible to keep a secret in this town? I'll summon up my courage, Eric told himself, but without much conviction. He pulled into the driveway with dread.  
  
The house was surprisingly silent. Eric walked into the living room cautiously. Annie was sitting on the couch silently, not screaming, like Eric had expected, and for one glorious second he thought Kevin hadn't told her yet. But he saw Annie's face, the look he was giving her, and it was worse than screaming. The look she gave him was murderous, hateful.  
  
Before Eric could say anything, Annie said quietly, "I knew this would happen. I knew I couldn't trust you with those young, single women. They only want one thing. I should have never let you have those counseling sessions. Now look what's happened."  
  
Eric said weakly, "Annie, it was a huge mistake. It meant nothing. I should have never let it happen."  
  
"But you did," she said viciously. "You did, and I see I'm not good enough for you. You needed somebody else, too."  
  
"Annie, I didn't love her! I love you! From the day we first met, I've loved only you."Eric thought he saw her face soften for a second, but it quickly returned to the hard, angry look. She shook her head. "I know...I know you tire of me sometimes. I know I can get angry at you, and you hate that." She looked almost sad for a second, but continued in anger, "But that's no excuse for an...an affair!"  
  
"Oh, Annie, it does bother me when you get angry. But I would never leave you, and I don't hate you...maybe this...this thing did happen partly because of our fighting all the time, but you're right, it's no excuse. Annie, even though you get angry instantly, I still love you. It was a mistake."  
  
"A mistake that could have cost you your family and your church."  
  
"It was stupid." Eric looked down. "But all I can say is I'm sorry, and I love you."  
  
Annie sighed. "I'll forgive you. This once. I would never divorce you, Eric, it's out of the question. But you're going to stop these counseling sessions with this...this Jennifer, and act more like a minister."  
  
Eric smiled and embraced his wife. She was still as controlling as ever, but at least he still had her. His family, and his church, were intact.  
  
*****  
  
Tonight is April Fool's  
  
Ranma Song  
  
The twilight colors your cheeks  
a throbbing scarlet color.  
Before it replaces the starry sky,  
I will open my heart to you.   
I'll summon up my courage!  
I'll summon up my courage!  
A man shouldn't broach the matter,  
I believe in tenderness!   
  
I love you!  
From the day we first met,  
[I've loved] only you.   
  
You look bewildered.  
Hang your head for shame.  
Tonight is April Fool's.  
Stupid! It's a lie!  
  
Though we always quarrel,  
I've felt my true feelings!  
Even though you get angry instantly,  
I can still think you're cute.   
  
If out of awkwardness I don't show  
the gentle feelings hidden in my heart,  
when we just look at each other  
my feelings are transmitted...   
  
I love you!  
I could not transfer it to anyone else,  
only you.   
  
Your bashful smiling face  
reflects radiantly.  
Tonight is April Fool's.  
Take the truth!   
  
You're obnoxious  
and unsexy.  
No one would be your partner.   
  
Your troubled face  
worries me.  
Tonight is April Fool's.  
Stupid! It's a lie!   
  
But it's a little bit true...   



End file.
